Tag Archives: soul tending

New Year’s Eve with Mother Theresa: Her Reflections

05520018On New Year’s Eve, 1990, Mother Teresa invited about 30 volunteers to spend time with her in the Mother House Chapel.  Below is my journal entry reflecting on her words.

January 1, 1991

Last night, I sat at the left foot of Mother Teresa and listened to her talk to about 30 of us volunteers.  She was like a grandma with all her loved ones at her feet listening to her stories and wisdom and wit.  I have never had a grandma, but last night, as I sat at her feet, I felt like a grandchild.

“If you don’t remember anything else, remember Jesus’ words, ‘Whenever you did it to the least of my little ones you did it unto me.’  Each night before you go to bed look at your hand on on your fingers see the words, ‘ You did It for me…You did it to me… You did it with me’  And ask yourself, ‘What did I do for Jesus today?  What did I do to Jesus today?  What did I do with Jesus today?’

“Love each other as God loves you. God loves you…God loves you.

“The more you love others, the more you’ll love God.  The more you love God, the more you’ll love others.

“Serve His little ones with dignity.  You’ll know it’s done with dignity, if it’s done with joy.”

She told us the story of an Indian couple who had a simple wedding ceremony and rather than receive gits, they received money.  Their love was so strong that they wanted to share it with the little ones.  They donated all the money to Mother Teresa.

Sitting at the feet of Mother Teresa, being close enough to see all the beautiful lines that crease her face and the mole under her chin, I was in awe of her gentleness, humility and strength.  Oh God, that I may grow in likeness to her.

 

My Time with Mother Teresa

MT and ME pic"Love others as
God loves you.
    God bless you.
        Mother Teresa mc
                     21/12/90"

One of my deepest dreams, as a girl and then as a young woman, was to meet Mother Teresa and experience her work in Calcutta.  In 1990, I turned 30 years old and decided to go for it.  I bought a ticket and headed to Calcutta by myself to fulfill a dream.  In honor of Mother Teresa’s canonization today, I will share my stories of my encounters with this holy woman.

My first encounter with Mother Teresa was on December 23rd.  I had been in Calcutta for a couple of weeks, living and working in a L’Arche community with 7 developmentally men and on my days off I worked at Mother Teresa’s Home for the Dying and Destitute and at her orphanage.

Acclimating to Calcutta was a challenge.  Everything was different and seemed difficult.  Within 24 hours of my arrival, I contracted a parasite and was intensely ill.  I lived in one of the poorest tangaras.  We sat on the floor there was no furniture.   We ate with our fingers, there was no silverware, we wiped ourselves with our left hand and water, there was no toilet paper, I slept on a piece of plywood with a thin mat and a mosquito net.  Half of the men I lived with spoke English, but I had a difficult time understanding them and the other half spoke Bengali, which I did not understand.

As I wondered the streets of Calcutta on December 23rd, I met 2 young women who were from Scotland, and I could understand them!  I was so thrilled to visit with them.  Even though we were from different countries, they felt familiar and easy.  They invited me to meet them later that evening for tea.

In the early evening, I went to the Mother House for prayer.  I entered a large room.  The visitors sat on the right side and the nuns sat on the left.  I sat down next to the aisle, hoping to get a glimpse of Mother Teresa.  They handed each of us a plastic rosary.  As I sat there taking in the peace of this place, Mother Teresa came into the chapel and sat directly across from me.  There was no more than a few feet between us.  I admit, I did not pray.  I just sat and watched this holy woman.  What was most surprising to me was how ordinary she was.  There was no bright halo above her head or lights shooting out from her.  She was just a simple old woman praying the rosary.

When the prayers were completed, she stood and went to the front of the room.  She announced that there was a visiting priest and that Confessions would be available.  I walked out of the chapel with those who were leaving, convinced that I would rather go to tea then Confession.  But instead of going down the stairs and out the door, I  walked down a hallway and stood off to the side where no one could see me and had an argument with myself.  One part of me was convinced I should leave and go have tea with the 2 young women I’d met.  The other part pushed me to stay and go to confession.  I had good reasons for both choices and the argument within went on and on.

Then the most amazing thing happened.   Mother Teresa came out of the chapel and walked right up to me.  She put her hand on my arm, looked up into my eyes and said, “So, you are going to confession?” With my eyes wide, I responded, “Oh yes, Mother!” .  She kept her hand on my arm and walked me down the hallway and into the chapel.  Then she pointed to my head and said, “The line for Confessions will form here.”  I was astounded!  Did God have to be that obvious?   Who could say “No.” to Mother Teresa.

As I said my five redeeming Our Fathers, deep tears streamed down my face, tears of shame and remorse for having so much and always wanting more when so many in the world have so little. My tears subsided as the shame poured out and a new resolve set in: to be a good steward of all that I have, to buy less and to buy good quality so that it will last, to live in gratitude and to give back to the world through service.

 

 

 

 

The Work of this Holy Woman Takes Root in My Heart

Sr. JulianaSr. Juliana
Woman of Compassion
Reaching out in Love
Becoming home to each child in need.
Following her Jesus who says,
“Let the children come to me.”
Her little ones,
Her Jesus,
Call her name and she Responds,
“I am here.”
-Kim Colella

 

 

Concert at the Center

Concert @ the Center copyIt was fun to watch Sam and WIll play for the kids at the orphanage and their neighbors today. What was even more fun was to watch the performances of the children for us. Everywhere that Sam and Will have performed their music, the people have responded by singing a few Besotho songs for them.

After the concert, Rethabile and her cousin took the stage. They were fabulous! Their singing and harmonies blew me away. The children performed with singing and dancing. Stephanie got up and led the children in a funny rhyme that got their bodies moving. That sparked a memory in Niko and he got up and brought out an oldie from his youth ministry days, “Hello, my name is Joe. I work in a button factory…” This is a very silly rhyme that eventually includes all body parts moving in total silliness. It was such a delight to play together, to be silly together and to laugh together.

The New Becoming

68 (1)

The old paradigm is dying
And the new paradigm emerges.
Those committed to the old
Hold on in fear of what is to become.

We are the doulas of the new becoming.
We must radiate the path with our brilliance.
We can no longer muzzle our truth,
Or curl in, protected by our fear.

We must remove our cloak of protection,
And put on our cape of courage,
And stand as priestess, shaman, guide
And assist in the birth
Of the New Becoming.

Kim Ebert-Colella
Feb., 2013

My Garden: A Spiritual Playground

I used to be afraid of gardening.  I was afraid that I would pull out something valuable and irreplaceable.  I was afraid that I would make a mistake.
Recently, something new is taking root in me.  I am beginning to see my garden as a  sacred playground.  As I explore and experiment, deep truths from within emerge.  As I tend my garden, these truths grow strong and take root in my conscious mind.
Today I created boundaries.  The sweet baby tears were flowing onto the sidewalk, circling around every plant, filling every nook and cranny they could find.  I allowed myself to remove the overflowing baby tears,  to compost them or put them in pots to be given away.  As I removed them, I became aware that abundance can choke off life if not shared.  Beneath these baby tears were treasures, I had long forgotten.  Stones, shells, garden art, as well as other plants were all hidden beneath the excess.  Removing the overabundant baby tears allowed me to unearth these treasures and to create spaces of emptiness, that allowed my spirit to soften and quiet and listen.  As new space was created, and boundaries became more clear, I began to breath deeper, to feel less scattered , to feel more at peace with life, to feel more at home in my body.

As I step into my day, I take this truth with me.  There are so many good options in life.  If I try to hold on to them all, then some will get choked off, some will get hidden, and others will become so overbearing that they will loose their vibrancy and beauty.  As I create boundaries, even with those things I love, I  consciously choose balance.  I choose which gifts of this life I will nurture, which I will appreciate in small doses and which I will need to cut back so as to fully appreciate all the life offered me.

I am no longer afraid of gardening.  It has become a meditation.  My fear of doing it wrong, has been replaced with a playful curiosity of what new truths I will discover.

The Art of Snuggling

This morning my son
Crawled into my bed
Wanting to snuggle
Before we started our day.
“Put down your book, Mom,
so we can snuggle.”
“I can read and we can snuggle, too.”
I replied.
I finished the last few pages of my book.
I put it down and turned off the light
And I snuggled in.

He was right.
A true snuggle requires my full presence.
As I let go of all distractions
And relaxed into this precious moment,
I became aware of the
delicious warmth of the child
curled up next to me,
The smell of his hair,
The sound of his breath
The deep sense of peace,
comfort and joy
Of being snuggled
Together.

The Great Amen

The Great Amen
Takes root in me.
Growing deep.
Shifting, changing
The landscape of my life.

As I let go of safe ground,
My insides quake.
The land beneath my feet
Rearranges itself,
Leaving me standing in
Uncharted territory.

Gingerly, I walk this new landscape,
Uncertain, uncomfortable with
the unfamiliar path ahead.

Deep and dark rumblings within me
Echo the Great Amen.

So be it.

-KARE
4/21/11

What ‘s Next?

Each year I spend part of my New Year’s at a Korean Women’s Spa. I spend my time soaking in mineral pools, resting in heated salt and sand rooms. and eating delicious and healthy Korean stir fry. The day culminates with receiving a skin scrub to get rid of the old and a skin moisturizing massage to bless the new.

This New Year’s Eve as I lived this treasured ritual, a sadness walked with me. I tried to breathe into it, but questions kept badgering me. What’s next? What was this trip all about?

This experience was such a big surprise and huge gift, I think I expected it to lead lead to something else big. I have this inner mantra that tells me that each life experience is a stepping stone to something else, so this huge experience must lead to some huge change in me or for me and my family. But it didn’t. We came home to the same lovely home, to the same loving community, to our same good work and this haunting question, What’s next?

After my scrub and moisturizing massage at the spa, I went to the salt room and curled up on the floor, soaking in the heat, breathing in the smell of herbs, and resting in the womb like darkness of the room. I prayed. I asked God, “What’s next? What am I supposed to do with this experience? What am I missing here?” What I heard back is this:

You are missing the gift. Just breath in the experience. You do not have to do anything with it, except accept the joy of it. You did not take Sam to the Beatles experience expecting him to come home and become a rock star. You gave him the experience because you knew he would love it and that you would love watching his delight. So it is with you. You were given this experience because I knew you would love every second of it and that I would love watching your delight. That is it. That is the gift. Relax now and enjoy the memory and let it take root in you however it will.

The sadness began to lift and my weariness subsided. I got up, got dressed and went home to enjoy my life and to welcome the New Year.

We’re Home

We made it home without incident. This was a small miracle considering the snow that shut down airports all along our route. On our way to Norway, we had a layover in Amsterdam. When we were going through customs, the agent asked me, “How long have you been here?” I looked at him with confusion and said, “5 minutes.” He then told me that they had people stuck there all night. We cleared customs and there were hundreds of cots lining the walkways. Our plane left, right on time. We left Liverpool for Dublin and the very next day the major airports in England were closed because of snow and ice. Throughout our time in Ireland the Dublin airport was closed on and off because of weather. Even on Christmas Day, it was closed for a few hours. We got out just fine on the 26th. We flew through Atlanta, when all up and down the east coast, thousands were stranded at airports, and gratefully we only had an hour delay.

We had an amazing time. And there is so much to digest. We have spent much of our week sleeping and hanging out in our pj’s, slowly reconnecting with friends and family.

People ask about our time and wonder what the highlights were. Trying to come up with an answer fells a bit like having a gaggle of children and having someone ask which is your favorite. Each experience was so amazing and unique. It is hard to pick one or two and say this was my favorite. So I will say this, the highlight for me was living this experience with Niko and Sam. 22 days together, 24 hours a day, it is a wonder to me, how much we enjoyed each other and how well we traveled together. What could be better than that?